Grief has a lot in common with gravity; it's an unavoidable force of life that can knock us to our knees in an instant. Monica Welty knows all about that. In 2013, she tragically lost her newborn son, Harvey; this episode releases on what would've been his ninth birthday. Since then, Monica has been bravely sharing her story and providing others a space to be witnessed in their own experiences of loss. In this episode, she explains why she chooses to grieve such an intimate loss with public transparency and talks about why there are some losses we never fully recover from.  Candice & Monica discuss how grief paradoxically requires we come to terms with deep existential truths while also finding ways to reconnect to everyday aliveness. They wonder at the way we ‘do math’ in order to make meaning out of our losses, and how & when this is helpful. Monica gets uber-honest about the shameful thoughts she had just following the loss of her son, and Candice shares how her current spiritual practice is all about believing in nothing and learning to relax into the mystery of life. The episode wraps with an unscripted moment where Candice shares a story of loss that she’s never before shared publicly.

Monica Welty dedicates herself to helping people feel better. After studying psychology and human development in college, she now works in Portland, OR as a massage therapist and health coach. She writes about the complex experience of grief and loss after the death of her son in 2013 in the hopes that, from her honest expression, others will feel less alone. She is mom to Harvey, who would be 9, and his sister and step-sister, both 12.

You can read her unedited blog at, hear more of her story on The Risk! Podcast, and join her & Candice for this year’s literary reading in honor of Harvey on May 5th, 2022 on Zoom.

Harvey's Reading – Thursday, May 5th @ 7pm PST
Meeting ID: 832 4893 5491
Passcode: 505026

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.

Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Liked it? Take a second to support Candice Schutter on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!