This week on TDP… an encore presentation of an episode I dropped almost two years ago. Ep.59 is ripe for a reboot because fascism has come for America and much of what I speak to in this drop has become an everyday norm. I re-recorded the intro to reflect our current reality, and I hope you listen to the end, where I take a closer look at tone policing and why it works to silence us. (The right knowledge can help us to beat them at their own game.)
Ep.59 (original release date July 5, 2023) — Candice is back with another solo episode, this time asking some big questions: What is gaslighting? Why are so many people allergic to the word victim? And is spiritual dogma eroding accountability? The episode opens with an exploration of spiritual supremacy and how/why social stigmas around victimhood have become so prevalent. Candice shares personally about her long and messy history with gaslighting and how devotion to new ageism only added to her confusion. She challenges the notion that all suffering is meant, then breaks down the cognitive biases that fuel a victim-blaming/shaming culture. Victimhood isn’t something we choose, and it’s very often shame-inducing because of how it is culturally conflated with learned helplessness. Examples are offered, as well as a critical look at the impossible standards that victims (and/or advocates who speak out on their behalf) are held to. Tone policing is defined and examined as a deflection of accountability, as well as other tools in the arsenal of those who are truly ‘playing the victim’… aka co-opt the language of the oppressed to justify retaliation in the face of restorative resistance.
March 25, 2025
Referenced in this episode:
- Conspirituality: How New Age Conspiracy Theories Became a Health Threat, by Derek Beres, Matthew Remski, & Julian Walker
- Conspirituality podcast episode #148: Marianne Williamson & Asshole Jesus
- Nicki Clyne Leaves Keith Raniere – her statement
- Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair, by Sarah Schulman
- Shiny Happy People (documentary) on Amazon Prime
- Punishment Is Not Accountability, article by Kate McCord with the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance
