The goddamn bear

This is me ‘power posturing’ at age 26. 🤨

I’ve since learned to stop imitating power-over ‘cult’ural dynamics.

“I told myself that my silence was self preservation and that it was in service to taking the high road, you know, all of that stuff. Which was true… but only somewhat. I had kept my story close because I was still afraid of the goddamn bear.

Don’t poke the bear, because if you do, he’ll puff himself up in anger and assume control of the narrative using his reactivity… the message from the top down was clear. The best way to keep the hierarchy intact is to keep your shit together, that way the bear will never be required to learn how to take care of his. This is the privilege that power provides, and it ain’t all about gender. Black women have been calling out this paradigm for generations; shouting into the wind long before people like me bothered to pay attention. ‘Cult’ure is reflexively in service to these double standards. They are at the core of white supremacy and they are deeply ingrained in patriarchal norms.

Reactivity has long been used as a means of control. Leaders silence us with their booming voices and dominant displays of emotion. And then they shame us for having feelings about it.

… I’m not a fan of being attacked, but nor am I interested in engaging with people who have no interest in self-reflection or hearing what I have to say. What I am interested in is standing alongside others who are like me tired of enabling codependent paradigm, where we pretend in order to protect ourselves and one another. What if we stopped pretending? What if instead we come together?… stand arm in arm, rooted and vertical, so that when power players raise their voices and seek to dominate us, we are a brave and united front. No longer willing to play by their rules. No longer cowering and towering in reaction to their demands.”

🎧✨ Ep.34 – Dancing on Eggshells

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